Well then, I am showing starveling.

An incident transpired today which amusingly incidentally mimics the gist of one of 'Ren's recent blog posts; every now and again, given the direct correlation betwixt my surname and email address, I occasionally become the recipient of random letters in foreign languages--Slovenian, I assume. Today I got one which didn't seem quite so random and bot-generated as the rest, so I went to some lengths to decipher its message using various translating tools on the net. Here's what looks to be the sanest of the translations:

Hello!
Sorry to bother you! Today I will not be on the exam, because I'm sick and I'm sick this week. Therefore, we asked if they could be ignored for another date, maybe next week, after the third hour, if you please!
Thanks
Greetings

...and thereafter they become funkier:

How do you do!
Yourself sorry, whenas I am disturbing! Today we thingummy will upon go, whenas there and everywhere she turned sick plus there and everywhere upon sick this one week. Wherefore would you it is requested to post would yourself with ease bother upon I tother, mogul upcoming week, under favour of third hours to post you to go together!
Thanks
Well featured wishes

Whence are! Yourself Beg your pardon whenas there and everywhere matt! Today we will be upon thingummy šel whenas whitherward plus throughout yourself there is I am turning over weakness [wi:knis] n and yon plus throughout upon hospital un week. Why bi you , yes indeed yourself requisite for publicity yourself readily bi interrupter , when there and everywhere tother date , Mogul upcoming plays weekly newspaper , in compliance with upon I to bruise sand If desired utter II , yes indeed peccancy yoked in marriage! Thanks Well then featured hungry

How are you!
Yourself Sorry, I whenas annoying! Today we went to thingummy, whenas there and everywhere she turned sick and there and everywhere in the hospital for a week. Why would you, that is required for publishing it is easy to mind when I tother date Mogul coming week, according to the third hour To post to go together!
Thanks
No featured wishes

From where they are! Please Yourself whenas mat there and everywhere! Today we went to thingummy whenas throughout whitherward plus I myself did not roll weakness and yon across the Internet plus un week. Why would you, that you really need to inform the public, would have easily Interrupter, if any and everywhere tother date Mogul upcoming game weekly, in accordance with a bruise on the sand if I want to rule II, the impurity is embedded in the actual law! Thanks Well, then show hungry

Whence there are! Yourself You're welcome whenas whitherward plus throughout mat! Today we will be upon thingummy whenas go whitherward plus all yourself is not there and everywhere upset II weakness on yon plus plus under favor of un infirmary throughout the week. Why would yourself, yourself yes indeed yes indeed I want upon yourself to inform the world easily Interrupter, whether ubiety plus throughout tother date, Mogul upcoming plays sport weekly newspaper, True to weal I 1st upon Fiery pit If desired voice II, yes indeed really Peccancy and the traces within Wedlock! Thanks thereupon Well then I am showing starveling

From where they are! Yourself You're welcome whenas whitherward plus all mat! Today we will thingummy whenas go whitherward plus all alone there, and everywhere upset II weakness [wi: knis] n wi: knis] yon plus the benefit under un plus clinic throughout the week. Why would you, yes you really really want from you to inform the world easily Interrupter, or ubiety plus all tother date Mogul come play sports weekly, True, the richer I [wi: lJ 1st I n the Fiery pit II To voice that actually says, and traces of impurity in Wedlock! No thanks then and then I am showing starving

Whence there are! Yourself You're welcome whenas whitherward plus all mat! Today we will be upon thingummy whenas go whitherward plus world yourself, is not whitherward, plus throughout upturned II weakness on wi: knis upon yon plus plus yield under un policline throughout whole week. Why would yourself, yes indeed yourself yea yea yes I am wishing with yourself, yes indeed the World data easily Interrupter, whether ubiety plus all tother date, Mogul upcoming plays sport sport weekly newspaper True, yes indeed richer I wi: lJ 1st And he upon Fiery pit If desired vote II, yes indeed really yea Peccancy plus vestiges of old customs within Wedlock! Thanks Well then with that thereupon there and then everywhere I who, review Twist

...and so I am no longer so certain I have any idea what this mysterious entity is attempting to communicate. Autotranslators are a beautiful thing. Observing the coherence of the above, I don't know whether I should be delighted or horrified by the prospect of writing my new friend back-- translated back into her native tongue, of course. Given the modern prevalence of digital communication versus the usage of phones, one would think the telephone an obsolete technology. And indeed, one would be correct in so thinking; we see plainly here no telephone is necessary to play Telephone. :)